In loving memory of my father…

Amy (Data according to me)
3 min readDec 18, 2023

This is a very personal post, so comments will be turned off.
Today marks one month after my father was laid to eternal rest.

This write-up was my tribute to him and I am posting it online just maybe it will make me feel better today.

The last dance

Daddy,

One of my fond and vivid memories of you was during a church service at Destiny Missions.

We had gotten to church late in our usual fashion and after a while, I was dosing off slowly when I felt a tap on my shoulders.

It was a lady usher.

She gave me tom-tom and whispered to me “Your dad said I should give you”.

You gave me tom-tom to keep me awake.

At that moment and time, I knew you would always watch me.

We weren’t sitting together but you were watching me.

That’s the father you were.

You were always watching me.

23,252 days… the number of days you walked this world with discipline and dignity.

People ask me why I cry so much, and I tell them I got my emotions from you.

The same way I got my hairline.

You cried when you were sad and cried when you were happy.

Every time, I went back to Abuja, you would tell me to kneel while you prayed for me, and on every occasion, I would hear you hold back tears.

We cried more than we laughed.

You loved me with discipline, with emotions, and with understanding.

You were disappointed anytime I disobeyed you, and you were so proud when I got things right.

You fought for things that mattered to me.

You fought for a pair of shoes that was confiscated from me because you knew how much I liked that shoe.

YOU AND YOUR DEAR WIFE MADE ME WHO I AM.

You introduced me to a world of books, arts, and intellectuals.

You made sure I read everything that was written or printed. Including policies and instruction manuals.

I really can’t believe you are no more.

It’s been devastating to even think about it.

one of your favorite songs plagues me daily,

“…Jehovah, you are the most high,

Jehovah, you are the most high god”.

It means more to me because you and I loved dancing and we never danced enough.

Moving on has been an ailment. I’m filled with so much regret that I didn’t give you most of what you wanted.

I miss eating junk food with you.

I miss knocking on your door in the morning to greet you.

I miss calling you for breakfast.

I miss being angry with you.

I miss crying with you.

I miss arguing mindlessly with you.

I miss running out of every church service to meet you by our car, so you don’t leave me.

I miss hearing you call me ame-ikpe, a name only you called me. A combination of your name and my name.

If I could heal death, I would bring you back.

If prayers were heard, you would be here today.

If tears could change things, my tears would flood the pacific.

You fought for everything, and you were given nothing.

You sacrificed so much of yourself, you didn't get to experience the joy of life.

As we lay you to rest today, I just want you to know that I am proud of you.

In the sea of tears and tsunami of emotions,

I am so proud of you, daddy.

Please, hold my hands so often and dance with me.

This is my fantasy.

I promise not to freak out.

I promise to accept your hands, the same way I accepted that tom-tom.

Daddy, watch over me till I see you again.

I will love you for a thousand years.

Your daughter, forever!

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Amy (Data according to me)
Amy (Data according to me)

Written by Amy (Data according to me)

data analyst, spreadsheet advocate, freelancer, sitcom lover by night, cinephile by weekends.

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